Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Aww, And I didn't even ask you to...

1 st place last year and now 2nd place this year for Best Blog In Orlando in the 2009 Orlando Weekly Awards for my DEAD blog.

I appreciate your retarded voting and the fact that you just screwed more present and motivated writers out of placing this year. Well done, Orlando.




Monday, May 4, 2009

DEFUNCT: ORLANDO




It's been fun,

Meghan

Meghan Schalk if you must be so nosey

a.k.a Defame Orlando.


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

DEFAMED: SNATCH SATURDAYS

Dear Ladies of Snatch,

Please tell me how it feels to publicly dance with a penis in your ass.



I often wear heels out, but now I wonder if I switched to flip flops, would it be easier to get rammed in my butthole by a total stranger with creepface when on the dance floor?




Should I dry hump a 12 year old boy next to my best friend on the couch?



Or should we be more discreet in the bathroom...



How large should the hole in the front of my jeans be?



What time is the appropriate time to give head to an unidentifiable man in front of my friends...



And how hard is too hard when being degraded with hair pulling by a guy I've never met before?



I'm totally clueless on how to be a classless vag



when dealing with the opposite sex in a shopping center bar that looks like an old gutted Eckerds with "club" themed cardboard glued to the walls.



Any help will be greatly appreciated.


-Defame

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The world needs a narrative

Ahh, Konrad, he who continues to go out on the town donning actual elf ears or indian head dresses as if it's just another Abenaki tribe afternoon in the park...







Sigh. Konrad is a really nice guy, but it makes me also wonder about him and his brother's childhood. If maybe they grew up in an orphanage and used to hide under the bed telling one another:

"When we grow up, we will leave here and we will be elves. It won't matter if people understand us, they're all crazy anyways"

Friday, January 9, 2009

DEFAMED: Justin James

Like love, do you believe in hate at first site? I do...

Justin James...who are you? Why do you hate me so much?

And why do I hate you?

No really. How is it I can't stand you at all and we've never even met. Why do I get such a bad vibe from you?

Is it because you intrigue me? And by intrigue, I mean you just look like the biggest piece of shit?




Or is it because of my Top Ten Reasons of why I hate you without even knowing you:

1. I hate you. And I don't even know why.
2. I hate that you have a lip ring. Fuck, I hate anyone with a lip ring.
3. I hate that you cross your arms in pictures.
4. I hate that your tattoo's aren't colored in
5. I hate that you have a face. A face that I hate.
6. I hate that you shop at Urban Outfitters.
7. I secretly love you. Just kidding. I hate you.
8. I hate that your job is DJ.
9. I hate that when The Pawnshop in Miami was demolished you weren't standing inside of it.
10. Honestly, I don't hate you for nothing. I hate you because I have heard you say deplorable things to women. And you know you have. Many times. You should hate yourself.



But in the mean time, I'll hate you. I'll hate you so much.



Stop mocking me Justin James. This is serious. I really hate you.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Winter Break

Will resume when you all head back to work and school. Or just school, since no one has a job anymore.

Friday, December 12, 2008

DEFAMED: Cori Yarckin





Yikes.

Congrats guys. You have a song on a Hello Kitty Album and a song on the Hills. As men (and whatever that treasure troll thing in the middle is) you must be so proud of yourselves.

Seriously. What self respecting musician with a dick wants to play this god awful wee-wee rock?






Nevermind...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

DEFAMED: Ricky Diamond






You all have no idea how long I have avoided writing about this dude. And it's not because he isn't perfect for the site, its because he has annoyed the piss out of me ever since the site started in regards to wanting to be defamed. He's sent countless messages, left a bajillion headshot comments that I've denied, and even threatened me recently...

"you make fun of all these people that you dont even know, isn't very nice is it. i'm sure you are absolutely hipsterific gross yourself. and that's why you won't disclose your identity. you are stupid. My music has plenty more potential than your loser website, (which by the way you only have 300 friends on myspace) and i will ruin you guys. but not out of spite, out of fun. so pretty soon, prepare to take that stupid bag with the question mark off of homer simpsons face. so you know what, uglies, don't defame me. don't do it. i don't want, or need your help. i'll just play show after show after show. and people will love it. and i will make fun of you guys at every show. and people will like me more than they hate you. and you will hate it. but pretend that you love it."

Shit, now everyone knows I'm Homer Simpson.

So two days after receiving that "scathing" letter, I receive this youtube from his off the rocker bipolar self . This is one of the few video's I will ever recommend listening to in it's entirety, because I admit, it's funny as shit. Mainly do to the fact that I truly CAN NOT for the life of me tell if it's a joke or not...




.........

PLEASE. Listen to his songs. Go to every single one of his shows. Get him famous and get him the fuck out of Orlando so he never contacts me again. And check out his myspace page. Unless you are just one of those people "who wants to smell his farts and eat his shit".


As far as you go Ricky, you creep me the fuck out and I feel like you're going to murder me. So here's your post. Because murder.


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

DEFAMED: Random Acts Of Retardation

Well holy shit, there is something worse than Blood on The Dancefloor if that was even humanly possible. If anyone was wondering what your own murder would sound like, it's the next video. Trust me, you would rather witness Adrian fucking Rip Rockin' Richey in Docta Dawe's car bed, than see or hear what you are about to be subjected to.



I have so many questions!!! Did she say I fought the condom and I won? I fought the pill and I won? What does that mean? How do you win a fight against contraceptives? How do THESE two people= a win??? What? Why? Why do I feel like
Anita trying to figure out Lil' Wayne's Lollipop lyrics???

Let's just go over the video real quick. Voice completely changed to sound nothing like real voice. Failed attempt at originality. Repetitive. Talentless. Cliche. Annoying. Gross. Makes me hate mankind and shiver when thinking about the future of music...
Yep it's Electro. Job well done insanely creepy scary people.


So that's it. Random Acts of Retardation. A woman who goes by Kitty Litta and paints fake cheekbones onto her face. And Necro Poodle...





A man who has a mug capabable of making me so mad that I honestly want to kill these baby animals right now...





Yeah YOU, little panda.

More anyone? (minute 2:16 if you don't have a lot of time)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ah HA! News Clip.

Remember Him?

Photobucket
Season One- Defame: Orlando

Apparently even Maybe Baby Killer Casey Anthony likes to get in a good picture with the little leprechaun we have come to know as Fetus a.ka Jason a.ka metal midget. Do not doubt me and my google image searches.




This post isn't about someone from Orlando being in a picture with Casey Anthony. There are plenty of douchebag 's in pictures with her. It's what is tattooed on the knuckles touching her that makes the picture so ironic.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

DEFAMED: Zack Furoche

Defame's bachelor of the week...

Zack is your everyday average guy



Who enjoys hobbies such as arts & crafts and building



a "health freak" lifestyle



Quaint bike rides alone through the park



And just spending normal quite evenings at home with friends. Away from the party scene.





Zack is best known for sharing the natural pheromones his armpits produce. To sample, please scratch and sniff the image below



and look no further ladies.



You asked for it. I could barely do it. <3 you="" zack.="">

Friday, October 17, 2008

Poll

Well this poll is pointless. I was hoping it would give me an idea of what direction I should take it. But currently its 24 for vile, 24 for light poking, and 53 for whichever way is fine. Making it a clear-you all don't give a shit just as long as its written- result.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

GROSS

I had to have a way of getting all of your horrible pics from photosites out there for everyone to see. Don't worry if you are naturally ugly or were born with masklike Rocky Dennis features...



that of which you could not prevent. I won't be calling them out. Defame's new GROSS will serve as intermissions in between posts and will focus more on things we could have prevented before heading out to party or while partying, had we not been so fucking wasted. And gross.







ACTUALLY