Thursday, July 3, 2008

DEFAMED: Sam Glicken(?)

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And after reading that flyer lets not forget, "The music I probably never wanted to hear..."

I'm backkkkk. And I'm starting with our dear Orlando Promoter Mr. Sam aka Cru Jones...

A man who has failed at quite a few nights. And a man who has built up quite a few other nights that we wish had failed. I will give you this much, you are determined. Let’s run down the list, and forgive me if I skip anything, because you’ve screwed up at so many fucking places I can’t even begin to keep up with you. We have or had 90's night at crooked bayou then at Voyage, a stint at Sat/Thurs (or Blackout, rather...a night that failed in general, maybe partly because of you), Rockstar Karaoke?, Old town?, and now The Globe...ehhh I don’t feel like getting into all of them.

I, however, am here to help. I’ve created a few nights and idea’s for you and I have a feeling they will be right up your alley. Especially since you seem to have a thing for blast from the past structures. Don’t thank me. Thank Orlando for still opening their doors one after another after another after another...after another...after another...etc, etc...for you.


8-Track Mondays @ Wing Shack.

Premise: Self Explanatory.

Transformer Tuesdays @ Walmart’s Lawn and Garden Center.
Premise: Bring your favorite childhood toys in from the 80s and Sam will make them dance LIVE to the music.

Retro LaserDisc Wednesdays @ Lazy Moon Pizza
Premise: Sam lifts giant cd’s into a music player and eats pizza.

Phonograph Thursdays @ Johnny Rockets
Premise: Sam will turn the handle on all the toe tapping hits of 1876.

Xylophone Zoo Wii Night Fridays@ Skull Kingdom
Premise: YOU pick the zoo animal. Sam and your animal of choice will play the xylophone by your side while you play your favorite wii game on the big screen in front of everyone.

Break Up CD Saturdays @ Sonics Semoran Blvd.
Premise: While you wait for your food alone and heartbroken, Sam pulls up next to you in his car and turns up the volume on all the tear jerking hits you weren't ready to hear yet.

Album Cover Sundays @ The Colonial Promenade Dollar Theatre
Premise: Sam plays a slideshow of album covers on the screen while standing off to the side, beatboxing.

Feel free to use those. You too, Chris Kirkpatrick and Fritz. Don't think I don't see you two eyeballing Xylophone Zoo Wii Night.

Ahh that felt good. Need more.

Oh Peanut Butter and Fridayssssss....

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

awww sam. i so saw this coming...

birdhead said...

haha what the hell is peanut butter fridays anyways. i got spammed the other day by them

kim said...

i dont even know these people. i just wanted to tell you i love your writing.its very entertaining which i guess is the point.

Kyle said...

You forgot "Almost Miami" Mondays, and "Miserable it ain't Manhattan" Mondays. Of course, "Biting Brooklyn Break" failed miserably last Spring, too.

Frank said...

Oh, Orlando. It's like it's encouraging me to go out. Because the music that was playing when I was 23 is still playing somewhere on some night every night.

Gross.

RONA said...

i CAN'T BELIEVE that THIS GUY got defamed before CRACKER JACKSON. sorry for all the capitalizing, but i'm drunk, and seriously, HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS MUSIC VIDEO? wtf, defame?

defameorlando said...

I had reasons for my timing. And no, what video are you talking about?

Anonymous said...

im so tired of these themed nights. people dont even care about the music. they care about the drink specials. advertise and create more of those.

dorottya said...

i vaguely remember seeing these flyers at carnival? personally, i find it kind of pointless flyering at clubs. at that stage, i can't even say "two soco's and limes", and you're expecting me to read that shit? you're basically handing me a piece of paper with japanese literature. thanks for wasting those trees.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for Sam to start his new Florida breaks night. Dust your visors off and get ready for a trip into time where the music is even shittier then what they play at Carnival. Now can anyone comfirm if GFY is an acronym for go fuck yourself.

Anonymous said...

Defame forgot to do its homework. Skull Kingdom has been demolished for quite sometime.

defameorlando said...

That was the point and irony of using Skull Kingdom.

Anonymous said...

im looking forward to his "I'm too old to still being doing this night" where you find him at wally's plugging quarters into the digital jukebox.

Vegas said...

I want to go to Transformers Tuesday

Anonymous said...

you shouldnt have started this on a holiday cause no one will be on it all weekend! tranformer tuesdays does sound like fun

Josh Spickler said...

I laughed aloud at that list.

James St. James said...

Um, what the fuck is this? Refame Orlando?
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=394217225

defameorlando said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hahahaha. "Refame Orlando". Oh Dana-you are really asking for it aren't you (a defaming, that is)?

Dana said...

Huh, what,,, why do I keep getting blamed for stuff, much like defamed,, refamed isnt me either, geeze..

Elroy said...

The first (and only) post at Refame promises a "pot stirring endeavor" but after reading it, I remain more than a little unconvinced.

Pete said...

Dana..Both of your accounts were online when "Refame" went up, and both of them were the first two friends. Nice try, though. Unless it was the third friend..Blood on the Dancefloor. Hahaha. Oh, Orlando.

Anonymous said...

speaking of CK and Fritz. Wow, do those dumbdumbs. I heard about his July 4th Party last night. CK got wasted and they started to kick all of his FAKE friends out around 1 am.

You dorks think some washed up ugly ass background dancer for a boy band 10 years ago is cool. Give me a break you idiots.

yeah... said...

"ey will be mean to you, so please don't be and illiterate asshole. If you have gotten or do get defamed then please help me help you by following these simple steps." - from Re-famed.

I love how they ask for us to not be AND illiterate asshole.

Irony?

sunshine cinderella said...

Break Up CD Saturdays @ Sonics hit a little close to home…
I don't want anyone trying to drown out my Elliott Smith and tear soaked cheese tot self-pity-fest with Rhianna...

Dana said...

Well,, still inst me,, both of my accounts are pretty much always online, because I leave the windows open,, cant really explain if I was the first friends or not, but if it was me I wouldn't have let that happen.. Or you are suspicions are correct, it is me, and so is defamed, because I am a diabolical master mind responsible for everything that happens in this town, now that the world knows I feel free, thank you Pete.

fabozzi said...

i can believe a shitty copy of my shitty night got defamed before we did. fuckers

Anonymous said...

awww poor sam. but defamed, you need to have your ear closer to the ground to hear the natives.... they are getting restless.

Anonymous said...

i am so glad you are back.

bored ass bitch said...

oh defamed. its july 5. you are so missing the big story of the weekend. open your eyes open your ears . really, truly, you are so defaming the wrong assholes on here.

SAM aka CRU JONES said...

YES... Its SAM. What's up fuckers?

Real quick...

Thanks for the Defaming. I've been getting hated on my whole life so no big deal. I love that I am on your mind.

Just wanted to get a few things straight.

1. Great idea for some new nights. I will see what we can do. Maybe we could do a Defame orlando in association with myself type of party.

2. Blackout had NOTHING to do with me other than I was the VIP Mgr. at Firestone at the time.

3. I started at Firestone to help grow Saturday/Thursday which was awesome in its original format. Not hating on it now, but c'mon. It's not the same night, just same name.

4. I have nothing to do with Rockstar Karaoke. That is Matt and Seth and it's fun so.... You're dumb.

5. I got a DJ gig ONE NIGHT as a favor for Phat Tom at OLD TOWN. $250 bucks for the night. A brother gotta eat somehow. I would NEVER try to promote ANYTHING even close to the hell Dana and I had to endure in that backwards ass redneck town.

6. I had no clue that there was a Tuesday called mixtape. I thought of it on my own cause I play random stuff and thought the name fit. I did research and there were Mixtape nights in other cities but didn't see any here.

That's all.

HOPE TO SEE YOU HATERS HAVE SOME FUN OF YOUR OWN SOON INSTEAD OF BEING SUCH DOWNERS...

THURSDAYS @ THE GLOBE BITCHEZ!!!

Anonymous said...

^^^ Wheres my money, Sam? Haha. Sam is cool folks. I guess if you're not being hated on, means you ain't doin shit. Anyways, I'm sure Sam can dj significantly better than any of you 'Blog-house' or 'Internet-house' (wanna-bee) dj's. Can we defame kill-to-win, cause those doods are absolutely terrible and should just quit. Or how about that chic 'Miss-Fit' or whatever her name is? Although I'd like to hit it, she should throw in the towel aswell. I dunno, whatever.

crispy said...

Sam completely sold out to side with an anonymous Defame Orlando and to make another attempt to host a scene night.

Hope it was worth it, Sam. Here comes the storm.

duckbilledplatypus said...

Totally unrelated to this post but I have all the old defame posts that were deleted. I never deleted them from when I had subscribed to have the RSS go to my mailbox. I can forward them somewhere if you really wanted them, or I'm just going to delete them.

duckbilledplatypus said...

Oops... last comment in before I just realized I think there are a few missing from really early on and right before the end. Never mind.

Hona said...

Rona, I think the thing to remember is the difference between Sam and "Cracker Jackson" : Sam thinks he is really cool when he does douchey things. "Cracker Jackson" is a jokingly created character. It isn't as fun to poke fun at someone who is, themselves, already making a joke of himself intentionally. Why hasn't Rona been defamed yet for being out of touch?

SAM aka CRU JONES said...

HONA. You must know know me because I don't do douchey things... Unless you count your mom. She's kinda douchey... But I was wasted so I don't think it counts. And she bought me drinks... So that's kind of a sweet score.

And I don't think I am cool. I think I am a dork who has a decent sense of humor and sometimes other people think I am cool. And sometimes people just hate like you have chosen to do. But that is because I put myself out there so it's to be expected.

I like to have fun and act like an idiot and help people have fun. Unlike people like you with no lives who BLOG about the good times other people have, I actually go out in the real world and have fun. Try it. I'm sure your World of Warcraft and your Hater Blogs and Internet Porn will still be there when you get home.

And I love to DJ and will continue to do so every chance I get.

OH and CRISPY... This is NOT, I repeat NOT a "scene" night. It is a night for people who want to listen to good music, chill out, and hang with some friends. It's music I like to play and hopefully people want to listen to.

That is all for now...

rohona said...

um, "hona"cracker jackson and josh, whatever you feel like calling him, is the same person. he can't go into a bar downtown without seeing at least three girls he's fucked, so i don't think that his "persona" is far from home. unless i'm misinterpreting his "laser sword" swinging antics, in which case PLEASE tell me where i've went wrong.
i'd say the main difference between sam and josh is that josh is 30 something, probably below the poverty line, and doesn't have and has never had a real job. meanwhile sam, somewhat younger and less of a whorebag, has a real job and DJ's for fun.

Anonymous said...

lol let's defame an anonymous defame blogger. ugh people are dumb.

Vegas said...

I really don't see how reading this blog automatically makes you have no life. I mean, unless you're illiterate, it probably shouldn't take you more than a good few minuets or so to read a post and the comments that follow. On top of that, I have Defame as a link in my address bar so I can save 3 more seconds from having to type blo until apple recognizes what web page I want and does the rest for me. It's all about time management people. I have World of Warcraft to be playing, I can't waste 5 minuets on this blog every single day now, that's just ridiculous. Also because of this blog I can't go downtown anymore because the anticipation for a new post is just overwhelming. So I guess all the people who have gotten defamed were right when they said whoever reads this blog has no life, god knows I don't...

duckbilledplatypus said...

Hey rohona, Sam is 32, which would qualify him as thirty something also last I checked.

Anonymous said...

sounds like rona has some cracker jackson or josh (whatever we call him) baggage. disappointed you couldn't get him in the sack? or even worse, disappointed you couldn't keep him there? your attacks are quite personal considering he isn't even rapping any longer... i'm sure you already knew that.

rona said...

unless he's gay, "anonymous", then you're right-he would probably turn me down. and that alone makes it okay for me to think he's worthy of being made fun of before sam.

cece said...

lolol anon-i'm pretty sure "rona" is a tranny from p-house. but maybe that's why they are jealous they can't have him!!

James St. James said...

Uhh, didn't Pauly Crush already do a party at Lazy Moon?
Wasn't it PMS Fridays for the NOW bitches?

karen said...

haha james, i remember that. it was a retaliation against pie in the skys' "bitches and brew" party going on the same night. god i fucking hate NOW.

Anonymous said...

did paul really DJ at that???

SAM aka CRU JONES said...

For the record. 31. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

"Break Up CD Saturdays @ Sonics Semoran Blvd.

Premise: While you wait for your food alone and heartbroken, Sam pulls up next to you in his car and turns up the volume on all the tear jerking hits you weren't ready to hear yet."
hahahahaha omg yes good one bubba

Anonymous said...

i now feel dumber for sitting here are reading this.
i'm an awful person and i will now go vomit at the thought of myself.
as long as defamed doesn't point its weapon at me everything will be fine.

i know why dont you defame the long past its prime and underpromoted hap hazard half swap meet that was phat n jazzy. and now is swap with stupids.

gerard mitchell is also good target. half sorry as man half sorry ass dj

ever seen someone try to look important?

or the theiving micheal mcraney
who robbed his long time friend jim f. and every band that he could to get where he is?

or i got it. do you remember mr downtown???

maybe you could do food reviews on how urban flats is awful and overpriced crappy flatbread almost pizza made me gag.

or how cleos is where the pop my collar kids go to retire from their twenties they spent at mako's?

man i could go on.

PH said...

To Anon at 4:58pm:

Defamed does none of those things, because those things are for old people. You are clearly old, old, old. Can you see it? It's the wrinkled "31 thank you very much!" scrotum of Sam AKA Cru Jones swinging back and forth: the grisly pendulum that ticks off the dwindling hours of your life.