Saturday, July 12, 2008

DEFAMED: Miss Mandy Murphy

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How to be a female myspace “model”


Have a friend list of no less than 5,000 friends. In the case of Miss Mandy, she has 22,000.

Be well below the standard height that real life fashion models are, that of which you could never be.

Plague your myspace with “professional” photos of yourself, you’ll know you have enough up there when your page refuses to load for anyone with a normal internet connection.

Build yourself a myspace fan site. Fan of what? Who the hell knows.

Build yourself a separate website that offers nothing interesting or entertaining. Just more pictures of yourself and probably a video blog where you will ruin anyone's sexual desire to be with you, by opening your mouth and telling us about your day.

Make sure your myspace page opens up with a giant picture of you and your full internet name (see top photo). Also, Create banners we can add, but never will, to our webpage. Like these...







Look 12 in your dad’s cowboy boots


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Credit: headhunterstudio.com

And most importantly give us the illusion that you are someone better and bigger than the girl we saw jumping around at crush and firestone every so often. Dedicate a page and a site to yourself, even though you’ve never accomplished a damn thing in your life other than joining a friend for a photoshoot in your underwear. Create this flyer…

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redit: headhunterstudio.com

or at least post it, proving to all, that you are loved and adored by everyone everywhere for god knows what. "The Entire Room Stares At Her" .........Really??? Seriously, what was written all over that flyer is fucking gross.

I can’t stand these photoshoot chicks . Now EVERYONE is a model and I thank myspace for this shit. I'm not denying that she's attractive. But do girls know how to just be attractive anymore without having to advertise the fuck out of it?


Thanks anonymous for the video. Here Mandy explains how she did NOT dole out an entire bands worth of blow jobs and surprisingly shows us an album cover vindictively made with a private photo of hers and her ex boyfriends...



Amazing.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to make this video to clear up a few things..."

A few things that none of us would have ever known about, had you not made that video dumbass.




88 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yo HATAZ St0pp HaTin' on MandyYY!
SheZ an InspiraShin!!
LAWLZ

Further proof , that this country is going to hell in a bejewelled photoshopped handbasket ...

jen said...

this is gonna get bad. esp with that last picture she has up there.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnP3dWkdNNs

this video is her justifying why her face(covered is semen) is the album cover. if you searched hard enough you can find it online.

Anonymous said...

this girl is sad. is she really from here?

Rob said...

finally dude. loosest vagina in town. i should kno..yeah im pathetic.

Docta Dawe said...

Da Dawe Diagnosiz: Patient suffering from narcissizm and a well nasty case of being a teenage girl.

Prescription: 12 inchez stat!!!1!!69

Anonymous said...

ARE YOU ON THE COVER OF A FUCKING MAGAZINE SOLD IN 4 COUNTRIES? didn't think so..

Anonymous said...

she's 5'8" dude

Anonymous said...

She's one of the hotter girls in Orlando.

Arthur said...

MATTY J SUCKS DICK

Jim said...

This is the silliest thing I've ever read. Mandy is the one of the nicest, most sweet person I have ever met. She's chasing her dream of becoming a model and for having only been doing it for so long now she's become very successful. Get over yourself and quit being so miserable.

Anonymous said...

amazing. another ladder cimbing loser. this girl sicks.gnight

Anonymous said...

i seriously cant believe she showed us a picture of her cumshot face. that was awesome

mark said...

she's an awesome chick, so downt o earth gotta love that broad

Anonymous said...

one in the pink two in the stink

Anonymous said...

I heard she got paid a shitload of money for that cover she was just on. Something like a few thousand. If so that rules for her. I never did like her but only because that faggot she was dating forever. The dude she's with now seems chill. She seems a little crazy for me.

Anonymous said...

"i seriously cant believe she showed us a picture of her cumshot face. that was awesome"


BACKED.


i'd still fuck her

Mike said...

I've been in rooms and seen entire crowds stare at Mandy, that flyer was no joke. And I also know Mandy well enough to know she wouldn't make something like that of her own, she's not that desperate. She has dudes over her left and right. And chicks.

rona not rona said...

ahhh hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

As good as a model straight from LA!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

she's hot as balls!!

Anonymous said...

she's cute but shit did she really just show that picture???

Anonymous said...

The good thing about this, this was fucking awesome. the bad thing? She has 22,000 people to come to her defense...

money shot said...

so i just wanna like tell you like totally this is not cool, like oh emm gee! a pic of me with a dirty sanchez? totally not cool

Anonymous said...

"ARE YOU ON THE COVER OF A FUCKING MAGAZINE SOLD IN 4 COUNTRIES? didn't think so.."

Myanmar, Mozambique, Upper Volta and Antarctica

Yeah said...

I would fuck her mouth. Not gonna lie.

Red Herring said...

Let's not forget her amazing boyfriend.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=78093652

Anonymous said...

this girl is a genuine mess. someone get that faggot matty j to post her n00dz

Diesel said...

If this attention starved, self obsessed whore is such a big deal in orlando, why is this the first I've heard or seen from her? Jewlie Purrple had more myspace cred than this audrey kitching wanna-be

laura said...

i've seen her out and she's not 5'8. I'm 5'8 and she scurried below me like a little tattoo'd messy mouse with a few of her other friends at firestone one night.don;t kid yourself.

boredassbitch its raining! said...

unfortunately a well placed cum shot picture can ruin your whole life. With permission, its worse than without. For a few grand, its so not worth it. For free to be used against your dumb ass later? PRICELESS!

Someone post the link with that photo /album cover on it, as COA doesn't have it on their myspace.
HA!
So much for marrying that Congressman whose been after your tushie, sweetie. good luck.

Anonymous said...

I like how right behind the quote about her "angelic features" is a zoomed in view of her crusty stretch marks across her entire coked out waistline

Anonymous said...

i heard she's still in lvoe with matty j

Anonymous said...

those stretch marks are gross but at least she didn't airbrush like julie.

Josh Spickler said...

COA. Good dudes. Backed hard.

Anonymous said...

those aren't stretch marks, they are underwear lines from them being too tight. tight pants do that ya know..she's skinny as fuck and doesnt have stretch marks dude

Anonymous said...

she's all real man

lucy said...

you're a hateful fucker aren't you?
wow, get a life.
she's happy, you're miserable, get over it.

Josh Spickler said...

I still love how many random people are coming here for the first time and are so shocked/appalled

adam s said...

Is there some sort of Internet Defense Force™ that is called into action every time something that isn't Carnival/Firestone related gets posted?

I refuse to believe these people just "stumble" across this page randomly when their internet whore friends end up on here.

Or maybe all those posts are sarcastic, and my Monday morning self missed the memo.

*shrug*

Either way, that last picture is priceless.

Anonymous said...

one priceless girl

AF said...

Man that girl needs toner in her hair, and perhaps a cheese burger!!!! She looks hungry.

Anonymous said...

it looks like she has a ringworm on the side of her hip.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD9l8wW8VNE&feature=related

lol

estrange said...

is that her singing??


some one please say yes...

Anonymous said...

sorry estrange. i think its just one of those shitty warped tour type bands

estrange said...

man... that would have made it like 100x better...

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry, but this is the best blog ever hands down. for a towns young local scene. pure evil.

boredassbitch! said...

why did you take the actual picture of her semen face down? No One wants to watch the retarded video of her shaking her head and flipping her hair, for almost 2 minutes waiting for the one second cd cover. Its much easier to judge form the still photo you had before. COA has this video on their myspace too, its hilarious.
then your filler? You took down tourrttes guy because he died? or what? that shit kept me entertained all evening. feel free to edit this. or not post it. just wondering.

HotWang said...

Orlando Weekly's results will be out this week.

becca said...

this girl rules! that video is so hot

Anonymous said...

they aren't stretch marks, they're underwear lines from them being tight

blake said...

let's not forget the infamous ass picture

found it on her website while looking at her galleries

i'd fuck her

murphy said...

i think we can all agree on one thing.. matty j is a fucking queer!

defameorlando said...

"Orlando Weekly's results will be out this week."

I doubt I won. I didn't ask anyone to vote anywhere, but on this website. And I didn't spam 5,000 of my "Friends" on myspace like some people did...

But we all know who is the best.

Red Herring said...

Bear in mind when the results do come out...you all can expect a nice little article.

It might even have explosions.

Mandy Murphy said...

let me just say this is a fucking hoot.
i JUST NOW found out about this...never once posted a bulletin about it, i wouldn't give you that time of day, sorry dude.
i don't know how all these people even found out about this ridiculous blog, but i did have some respectable cfl dude message me with this link.
i'm gathering that you are one funny, miserable motherfucker.
i like your humor...but i do advise you find something else to occupy your time. maybe, get a job? find your passion? do something WORTHWHILE other than this.
but, thank you to all these anonymous people for your comments, most of them made me smile.
gotta love it.

i'm not a hateful bitch and usually never say anything to hating assholes but
two words: fuck you. :)

...and i am 5'8", get out your measuring tapes next time you see me. ;)

ciao motherfuckers.

defameorlando said...

Welcome to my site Mandy. You've been missing out. Glad you like it here and find me funny.

And you're comment wasn't half as retarded and misspelled as I expected it to be. Thank you for that.

Mandy Murphy said...

i'm really not as horrible as you may have heard...matty j fucked up my entire reputation by posting that picture to the public and i pretty much owe him 1,000 hits to the face for it.

maybe he should be the next defamed..even though he fled orlando in fears of getting his life ruined by cfl kids.

orca fetus said...

Why do people automatically assume anyone running a site like this "has no life?" The material here isn't exactly taxing to write; though to those of subpar intelligence who frequent this place, I suppose writing a coherent paragraph would seem like an immense feat.

Defame can probably crank these entries out like Eddie Murphy can shit out comedies involving trans-gender fat suits.

defameorlando said...

I'm really not as horrible as you may have heard either. The people who are about to post in regards to your comment are another story.

Someone give me some dirt via myspace on this Matty kid. If he's worth it, this could get fun.

Anonymous said...

ok mands

5'8. whatevs.

still can't be a real model

Unless you look like kate moss which we all know your chubby lil babyfat chipmunk face does not

have fun being on the covers of local tattoo and porn magazines.

Anonymous said...

please defame giant earplug dude

Anonymous said...

don't be fooled defame... someone probably wrote that paragraph for her... its too hard to write things on the internet when your eyelids are sealed closed with semen.

kim said...

im glad mandy came here late and after 50 comments were already posted about her. it would have been a shame had she showed up right away and missed them all.

team mandy + matty said...

MANDY + MATTY

sara said...

What is all this hating shit? Mandy is a legit girl. and she's only 20, give her a break.

Anonymous said...

Defame won best venomous blog in the weekly! congrats!

Ugh said...

"And you're comment wasn't half as retarded and misspelled as I expected it to be. "

Yeah, but YOURS was.

defameorlando said...

I'm so embarrassed.

ct said...

oooooo defamed used the wrong version of you'reeee/yourrrrrrr. they must be stupid too! you have a lot of nerve picking on the writer of a site you read every day.

get over it

gay

Red Herring said...

great. I have to get the explosions ready...

Mandy, word to the wise: don't ask people to bring out measuring tape. They might just do it.

See season 1: Tropical kids throwing up Defame signs.

Anonymous said...

also mandy get your "2nd grader who just got all her adult teeth" teeth fixed if you wanna be a real model and not some fake ass audrey kitching

Anonymous said...

so fucking funny

Anonymous said...

her and chris crocker look a lot alike.

Anonymous said...

Now why would you leave out something as important as " The Ladies of Metal"

Come on...

laquita said...

oh shit. "la la laura" and "miss mandy" should have a measuring contest. if laura is wright about her height, mandy should sleep with him also. then they'll actually have something in common. :)

Ivan said...

THAT VIDEO IS BULLSHIT SHE DEFINITELY HUNG OUT WITH THOSE DUDES AT A KEGGER AT MATTS HOUSE 2 YEARS AGO..WHEN SHE SUCKED THEM OFF.

BULLSHIT LYING UGLY SKINNY FUCKING GIRL.


LEARN HOW TO NOT TALK LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT.


ONCE MATTY J FUCKED THIS GIRL AND SHE SCREAMED OUT HER EX BOYFRIENDS NAME.
ANOTHER TIME SHE GAVE HIM HERPES ON HIS ANUS.
ONE DAY MATTY J WAS FUCKING THIS BANGED UP LOOKING MODEL IN THE ASS AND SHE SHIT ON HIS DICK!

NASTY ASS SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

kourtn3y said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DOO DOO BROWN said...

Her and Chris Crocker use the same Photoshop banner guy:

http://gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2008/07/Picture_2_06.png

Anonymous said...

LOL@MANDY

I was at that party where she claims she didn't suck Colin's dick. It was after End of Summer jam, at a party for Matty's birthday at his old house on Aloma. I definitely watched her go in the bathroom with Chimpo, their merch dude, and they were definitely in there for quite some time.

Or maybe we should talk about how her boyfriend is terrified of Colin......

Anonymous said...

Nothin' worse than Myspace Fame. She's 20 years old and still acting like a child. I've known her for YEARS, and she's the kind of person who's terrified of not being popular. She pretty much begged me not to hate her. XD

Anonymous said...

"The life and times of Miss Mandy Murphy". Did she fucking make that herself? Hahahah what a fucking idiot.

Anonymous said...

mandy is a sweetheart. attention starved, but nonetheless a sweet and genuine girl.

that shit that happened with that picture is unfortunate. i don't think that anyone will argue, even matty himself that he's a scumbag. girls are so damn stupid with the guys they choose to believe are going to treat them well. c'est la vie. they usually lie to themselves about it until they get pumped and dumped and then post a myspace bulletin about "how mean boys are."

Anonymous said...

"cfl dudes are scary", aka prepubescent boys who spend their entire allowance on shitty hardcore records and revere the likes of bubba smith and mike murphy.

If you're not terrified of Colin, you're kind of a moron.

Also, AUDREY omg KITCHING!!?? is fucking gross.

also COA, backed.

Mouse said...

this bitch litterally broke my dick and ripped a $300 set of sheets.

mad good chick though, sucks dick like a fiend.

Anonymous said...

http://i55.tinypic.com/2w69awx.jpg

here's the picture of that album cover. I remember when this came out, I was a freshman in high school and I friends with a few older kids who were into the whole Central Florida hardcore scene and they were all cracking up (at the actual copy of the CD, not this picture) and talking about how a few of them had fucked her. you really can't deny that she's a sexy little bitch though, I'd definitely put my dick in and around her mouth. sometimes you just need a dirty slut, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

This has to be some of the funniest shit I have read in awhile! All I can say is karma is such a bitch! : )