Friday, July 11, 2008

DEFAMED: Nsync 4th of July Party

It came to my attention that our dear Chris Kirkpatrick's coattail rider Fritz was looking for pictures from Chris's Dude Bro 4th of July bash. Now I wasn't going to post on it, because it was all rather yawn worthy and really there wasn't much to unveil, but I just found it so damn entertaining that no one had pictures from this... except guess whooooooo...

Meeeeeee.

Defameeeee.



I love it. Being the evil infiltrator to the scene that I am, I was either there or sent my henchman to this wonderful shindig of yours. And yours truly is nice enough to post all the pictures that you've been in search of. Please note that I have nothing witty to say, nor do I care much about posting this entry. I just couldn't let the pictures go to waste.


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Hey is that Aaron Wright with the hat on and his back to us? Food was Mexican. And nothing says an American 4th of July BBQ like Mexican Food. Entertainment was provided by none other than the adidas sweatband clad cover band SWITCH and a vacant un-enthused chick in a bikini tapping an offbeat drum line.

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I know Fritz. You're probably looking for the 50 bikini clad anorexic 18 year old's at the party with man faces. This guy comes very close and at the same time was sooo much more picture worthy.

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And now for our shining little star of the party, Chris Kirkpatrick. If you thought that clothing in the pool was just for your fat little 12 year old brother, you were mistaken. Chris braved it all and took the plunge in a tank top and below the knee basketball shorts.



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He also played with a watergun under the water by himself for 20 minutes.

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And successfully ignored every female that was at the house. Uh oh. Look at that face in the corner. Nsync joined the pool party and someone's not getting enough attention.

And last but not least, Chris's toys from the good old days of the boy band life. Now if someone can give the guy some money for the gas that goes in them, you can all actually use that boat out in the lake next time.

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Yawn.

32 comments:

To Catch a Predator said...

Is it just me or do some of those girls look creepy young???

Marc said...

if this is what happens at the homes of the rich and famous, i am totally happy with bbq's at my friends duplex down the road.

Courtney said...

and now it dawns on me why i never liked nsync when i was little.

and of course those girls are young - most places have a minimum age requirement, shindigs like this have a maximum age restriction.

ThatMatt said...

I know a couple people that went, said that some of the girls there were being uber creepy. Almost like CK drugged the punch or something.

Whit said...

You know i love this blog... but this was too easy.

I'm with Marc. I'll stick to the duplex's as well. That party was boring even for the 2 min defame review.

jeffff said...

The girls there were idiots. more concerned with fixing their bikini tops than actually knowing how to have a real human conversation. did you miss the booty contest? whoever took these pictures probably couldn't stand to be there for more than 10 minutes.

defameorlando said...

"And yours truly is nice enough to post all the pictures that you've been in search of. Please note that I have nothing witty to say, nor do I care much about posting this entry. I just couldn't let the pictures go to waste."

anyone read that part of the blog?

Red Herring said...

jeffff:

Sadly, we didn't stay for the booty contest. Our paparazi brigade is kicking themselves for that lovely bit of scrote douchery.

Oh well, maybe next time...

And Defame, that wasn't CK...that was an endangered Florida manatee. They are very gentle and love plants.

Red Herring said...

correction: paparazzi.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather go to carnival ...

Elroy said...

I feel like that was a very sad little computer and desk. I get that Nsync residuals might be slowly going down, but a $30 desk from Wal-Mart is a sure way to show it.

Sadly, the girls in the bikinis were ugly and the general douche bagginess of the guys in the bikinis belied any nice body tone they might have so all in all, I'm glad I didn't go. And that CK kept his shirt on when these pictures were taken.

Anonymous said...

carnival was fun this wednesday

Anonymous said...

carnival was fun this wed. had a better vibe it seems...

Anonymous said...

yah how do you have your own private airplane and you cant get better furniture. something from ikea would have been better than that.

Torvald said...

I love how the uber-scuzzy clubrat, Kenny, is in almost all of those pictures.

He's the first broski/closet-case to put on the bikinis just to end up in pictures. He's an attention whore to boot.

Anonymous said...

i love when people who love carnival try and convince everyone who hates it that it's actually worth going to.
hipsters don't care about "CK". let's talk shit about carnival some more.

Anonymous said...

i love how you even know the douchies name. who is he? no one? thought so.

Love said...

ooo this is a change, lets name things we love...

Eddie said...

All twelve people that can fit inside of Suite B..

Those $12 drinks are tempting.

chase said...

i can't see how ck would drug any of the girls at his party. he didnt pay attention to any of them. it was clearly bikini man who probably had some shit slipped in his drink...

lellie said...

carnival owes defame a "thank you" considering half the people who go there now wouldn't if not for defame bringing unfortunate light to it in the first place. i remember when i used to go to suite b on wednesdays and the drinks were 2 for 1, in tall glasses, and the crowd wasn't grimy as shit.

Anonymous said...

someone find out what carnie was missing last wednesday so we can decode the "carnival had a better vibe (because so and so wasn't there)" front.

Stella "Bunny" Brennan said...

Old Boy bander throws cheap parties. Boring.

I wonder if CK still poops like a mere unknown, over weight man in his 30's?

You are right, Defame. There's no wit in this.

Red Herring said...

would there be more wit if CK was replaced with a manatee?

top said...

"carnival owes defame a "thank you" considering half the people who go there now wouldn't if not for defame bringing unfortunate light to it in the first place. i remember when i used to go to suite b on wednesdays and the drinks were 2 for 1, in tall glasses, and the crowd wasn't grimy as shit."

That whole paragraph doesn't make any sense.

Carnival's been getting worse lately..

brit said...

carnival was apparently never good, however, i know the only reason i went was to see what defame was talking about, and i had a lot of good laughs that night.

Anonymous said...

If carnival was any better last week it was because Pauly Crush played that night.

Little Sparrow said...

To the lovely comment about the cheap computer at CK's house. Can you believe security got testy at one point when people tried to get in that room? Heaven forbid someone try and steal that ancient walmart computer...

And thank you Defame for mentioning the seriously crappy food. Mexican was a poor choice. Hot wings didn't make up for it and neither did the 100 bags of doritos. Mind you the Doritos were buy one get one free at Publix that week. So hopefully they have started to save up for some gas for the water toys and to fix the huge crack in CK's bar (now being held together conveniently by some duct tape)

adam s said...

What the fuck does Carnival have to do with any of this?

"Chris Kirkpatrick's 4th of July party" turns into "Hey Carnival was teh awesomez!!1!"

Do you have any free will of your own, or can you only talk about things where there are flashing lights and OONTZ OONTZ music?

One glove, young love - Michael Jackson said...

Hey kids...if you like carnivals...I got a whole carnival at my house...

Heee Heee!

jam-on-e!

ciar said...

the sausage roll in the bikini playing the drums was the best. she hit it twice then stood there, hit it twice and stood there. why does chris need to be so cruel and test his friends abilities to do simple things correctly? what an asshole.

pffffffft said...

Kenny is a coke head!!!