Sunday, October 12, 2008

DEFAMED: Scott Graham

SEEN AT GRITS N GRAVY!!! SEEN AT MIDNIGHT MASS!!!! SEEN FRIDAY NIGHTS AT IBAR!!!

N@TUR@L CLUB CUR3$ "THEY DON"T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT

Is your night slow? Drink Specials not enough to keep your club packed? Do you want your club to BE HEALTHY? LIVE HEALTHY?

Look no further, its the BEST kept secret SUCCESSFUL club owners have been keeping for YEARS. One Word: SCOTTPOD™



NO room for turntables? Can't afford REAL DJ's?

SCOTTPOD™!



But DEFAME? How DOES SCOTTPOD™ work?



Well Sally. SCOTTPOD™ has no other line of income and requires minimal salary to run. You simply plug it in, push play and SCOTTPOD™ DOES THE REST!!

Watch how SCOTTPOD™ almost INSTANTLY turns this EMPTY club...



into WOW!





Now THAT looks like a PARTY!

THAT"S THE SAME CLUB!!!


DISCLAIMER: SCOTTPOD™'s are not responsible for skipping tracks or repeating songs if he leaves to take a piss or get a beer in the middle of his set. Every SCOTTPOD™ comes complete with one preprogrammed dated set list. SCOTTPOD™'s DO NOT work on their own. You MUST be present to push play and stop.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow...

I was wondering when he would be on here. Does that bitch still play "Common People" and "Sexy Motherfucker"?

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA

YESSSSSSSS

I lol'd. Love Scott. Welcome back Defame!

Anonymous said...

I want a Scott Pod from Christmas...where can I buy me one!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! This is hilarious. Defame you have out done yourself! Still love da Scott!

Matt said...

LOL. Poor Scott. Best part is he knows all of this is true and doesn't even care.

Anonymous said...

"Every SCOTTPOD&#153 comes complete with one preprogrammed dated set list. "

amen.

Anonymous said...

Common People haha

jeff said...

So good

Anonymous said...

Hey being a DJ doesn't require tons of gear anymore....
and really he plays what the lame masses want to hear... They are brainless and want to drink and get wasted and kill more brain cells, do you think they actually have the ability to distinguish one song from the next anyway?

defameorlando said...

Haha. Person above me, did I say otherwise?

Trust me, I know if he actually played true Rhythm and Blues people would be off the floor and back on it as soon as The Jackson 5's ABC came on.

I'm almost willing to bet he could play that song (or has) five times in one night and no one would notice.

lindsaylovesgritsngravy said...

great start up post and so on spot. loved it!!

Anonymous said...

Spot on. Not on spot. Dick and Jane.

Anonymous said...

I think Scott will get a good laugh out of this. You can't get mad at things you know are true.

Anonymous said...

hell yeah. i just clicked on here for the first time in a week and there's a new post.

Alex c said...

scottpod is awesome. i love how it was trademarked as if someone is actually going to try and make it haha. this was a funny post without being too shitty. i know you probably don't like to have every single post of yours critiqued, but job well done on this one.

there are sooooo many anonymous posters.

Anonymous said...

Don't play Scott in poker. He yells at you.

Anonymous said...

love that all the blog links you listed send us to porn sites. you're very supportive.

duckbilledplatypus said...

Fuck that. If I get a scottPod they're just going to come out with a new one in a few months and mine will be obsolete.

Anonymous said...

poop

Hater Spice said...

You DJ so bad Scottpod™ took your job.

Seriously, with as cheap as most "DJ's" work with the glut of promo-jay's in this town, this guy really has to be cheapening things for everyone. What does he work for, a 12 pack? Because based on the amount of work he does vs. some lame bloghouse kid making $100, that's about all he deserves. As lame as someone like say, Sam is, at least he's out there promoting himself and possesses some degree of hustle. This guy? Nada.

I know bartenders are always looking for ways to cut costs, but come on. This guy doesn't even TRY.

If you want to know why anyone with half a brain and decent taste in music laughs at dance nights, it's because you hire no-talent clowns like this.

It's ok, the bottom on the "dance night fad" should fall out soon, and the rest of us that actually work at this and actually appreciate music will still manage to stay afloat.

This motherfucker didn't even know who The Meters were a year ago, and he runs an R&B/funk-themed night?

Bwahahah.

Anonymous said...

duckbilledplatypus,

i'm sure you're safe with this scottpod. i think this is as advanced as they come.

Anonymous said...

When are they coming out with ones in different colors? I'm not a fan of pasty white.

furochewarrior said...

the meters rule

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahhaahaaa

Anonymous said...

it's true. scott doesn't even pretend to be trying. the bartenders at matador had to be like "hey, scott, the song is almost over, i think you need to come in and push play again" once.

Anonymous said...

The fact that scott has no real knowledge of electro music makes him all the better.

Anonymous said...

I hate electro. However, that doesn't excuse his lack of knowledge on, oh...EVERY THING ELSE.

John said...

At least all of Scott's nights are still going on unlike all of these other club kid dj/promoters themed dance parties that keep evaporating weekly.

Anonymous said...

All his night run strong and most for years!

Anonymous said...

How about ,not like it would be hard, to defame the call guy/dj/smellymotherfucker who calls him self Furdouche. I mean Furoche. and now it's the bone chilling "Furoche Warrior". Come on he just got a pair of Vice Grips Tattooed on his face.

Anonymous said...

the disclaimer is the best

dlux said...

there will be a special edition Scotty B model just in time for xmas

Shawn said...

Don't play Rock Band with Scott, either. He yells at you during that, too.

THE WHHHAT?! said...

THEWHHHAT.BLOGSPOT.COM
IT'S YA BOYYY!

Anonymous said...

i'll be at grits n gravy tomorrow to watch scott in all of his magical dj glory. its still one of the most fun places to be during the week. no one can argue that part.

Anonymous said...

At the end of the day, an actor/actress is just someone who says what someone else wrote for them to say and a DJ is just someone who plays other people's songs. It's time for the moths to find a new flame.

Anonymous said...

i think you're very wrong and a little right at the same time anonymous. yes their job is to play other people's songs, at the same time a DJ has a certain responsibility to know his shit as well as be on top of new music. that of which some dj's are not.

those are ipod or itunes setlist dj's we're talking about of course. say what you just said to a dj like kittybat and i'm sure he'll be pretty pissed that you basically just said all he is good for is pushing power on his record players.

scott looks like he's in the russian mob said...

"i'll be at grits n gravy tomorrow to watch scott in all of his magical dj glory. its still one of the most fun places to be during the week. no one can argue that part."

And watching the latest un-funny "GENRE" MOVIE is better than a root canal, or slightly better than getting my nuts caught in a vise grip, but that doesn't mean you should support it.

L said...

I hope scottpod comes out in pink really soon.

Anonymous said...

I love scott. And I want a scottpod in black. I hear black scottpod has a bigger...playlist.

Mme Paulita said...

love it! Scott still kicks ass

Red Herring said...

Word on the street: Evidently Scott will be going as Scottpod this Halloween.

Anonymous said...

why won't you post comments about forouche being hot and me wanting to jump his bones? wtf.

THE SPARROW FLIES SOUTH AT NIGHT said...

NEWS FLASH:

Scott is really Fred Durst!

jen said...

hahah! at the above link