Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: MC Rad

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I’d just like to bring to your attention the most disappointing rise and fall of a local promoter. Follow me here. When I first started paying attention, he was going strong with a popular 80’s night at A.K.A Lounge, wrecked his image in my mind when he started promoting for Rockstar Karaoke, and when you thought he couldn’t get any lower than Voyage nightclub, Matt proved the almost impossible and began posting flyers for Chillers, Big Belly Brewery, and Latitudes.


Sellout
Definition: Anyone who sacrifices artistic integrity in an effort to become more successful or popular ; someone who forgets their roots.

Now the word "sellout" has always been linked to some things such as bands changing their music to sign a contract with a record label for more money. Which I always thought was maybe true but a little unfair, because I know that many of us would do the same thing to be millionaires. I’m willing to bet that Matt is not a millionaire right now. But I couldn't think of anything better to describe a sellout than a promoter who decides to promote for any bar on Church Street.

With all that said, I really didn’t want to Defame him, because he is a genuine nice guy. But when I arrived on his myspace page, the plain White T’s “Hey there Delilah” song started playing and that really was just the last straw for me.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: E2G Photography

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Way to market yourself E2G. What a smart and savvy way to use patrons shameless pictures to direct web traffic to... your... competitors photosites?

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: Props

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Carnival seems to be aiming for authenticity these days. To give you more of that “Whimsical Carnival” feeling, they are now decorating the bar with tattooed leprechauns to pose next to.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: Pauly Crush's Nonsensical Club Attire

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Alright. We use flashlights to help us better see things in the dark. We use sunglasses to help us block the light. What exactly was Paul trying to accomplish in the above picture? We may never know. We also may never know what he was doing spinning at Carnival in the first place, esp. after seeing that obviously pointless defaming flyer (which I had no part in) from a few weeks back. Ahh the mystery's of the world...


Also, a big thanks goes out to the new sceney picture site partyfoulz.com that just popped up, providing me with the above. Making it a one stop shop of material for me to poop on.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: Kanye West Shutter Glasses

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Congrats. Your face looks like an ass pressed up against a lawn chair.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED : The Tropicals


I hate doing this. To write about it, is to bring more attention to a stupid trend that I really hope just disappears into the mass supra sneakers and florescent sunglasses wearing sea of followers. But as I sit back and glance at the myspace bulletins, I shake my head as I watch more and more people attaching a bracket to their user name, inside the bracket a word that only indicates to me [I am an empty headed retard, with no real sense of SELF, only driven and controlled by a scene, and a hand gesture that defines not who I am, but who I follow]. Wait. Maybe you're (fortunately) not in the know. Allow me to introduce to you…ugh…the TROPICALS.

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I’ve been asked several times what it means and have come up with the answer, despite what even the tropicals themselves believe.

Tropicals- A group of people who have come together because of a common disease called Individuality Disorder. They cannot function as one human alone in the social scene. Status points are based on how many people they can get to distort their hands into a popular letter in the alphabet. You will find this disease is not uncommon. The following simple test can be done to show how alarmingly fast this disorder can spread:

*Enter a popular bar/club with a large amount of patrons who you cannot tell the sex of by their haircuts.
*Stick a pile of poop on your head
*Get a popular club night photographer to take a picture of the poop on your head.
*Let the picture of you with poop on your head get posted on the photographers blog.
*Enter same club the following week.
*Voila. Everyone has poop on their head.

Frightening isn't it?

Defame Season 1

DEFAMED: Ladder Climbers

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Ladder Climbers- They can also be known as, people who somehow know you, whose names you barely can remember and whose phone numbers you will never use. You can attract a ladder climber simply by accepting their friend request on myspace. This ladder climber could really care less about who you were before they saw you in pictures with the clubs dj or promoter. You may one day exchange numbers, but they will never be used during the daytime just to shoot the shit or have lunch. Your number is for pre-club night texting only. In person you have absolutely nothing to say to a ladder climber ever unless you are completely shitfaced. And when you are, you will find your conversations only consist of "I am so drunk", "I miss your face" and "Kevin take a picture of us!". The great thing is within a week you will see that you have been honored with a position in their top 8, feel like one of their newest and most beloved friends, only to be replaced by someone else 7 days later, because you did a very bad thing. You got a job and stopped going out on the weekdays.