Wednesday, April 22, 2009

DEFAMED: SNATCH SATURDAYS

Dear Ladies of Snatch,

Please tell me how it feels to publicly dance with a penis in your ass.



I often wear heels out, but now I wonder if I switched to flip flops, would it be easier to get rammed in my butthole by a total stranger with creepface when on the dance floor?




Should I dry hump a 12 year old boy next to my best friend on the couch?



Or should we be more discreet in the bathroom...



How large should the hole in the front of my jeans be?



What time is the appropriate time to give head to an unidentifiable man in front of my friends...



And how hard is too hard when being degraded with hair pulling by a guy I've never met before?



I'm totally clueless on how to be a classless vag



when dealing with the opposite sex in a shopping center bar that looks like an old gutted Eckerds with "club" themed cardboard glued to the walls.



Any help will be greatly appreciated.


-Defame

68 comments:

Cockybob said...

Wow, they better class up before Midget Mack gets there!

boredassbitch said...

wow. where are all the arrows and "gross!" comments?

Joe said...

think I'm gonna start wearing "tap in" shirts and trying to get in on this.

Miss Becky said...

Um, wow. There are no words.

Shawn said...

Can I get a side order of Jesus Christ with my round of What the Fuck?

But honestly, you had me at "Dear Ladies of Snatch." Haha! Sometimes I think they create this shit and take these pictures just for you. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact this shit really happens and these people actually exist. I'm glad I'm sheltered. And have integrity. And at least a little dignity.

adam s said...

I see you've brought back the "GROSS:_____" column under a different name.

Yeesh.

Josh Spickler said...

where do i sign up?

Anonymous said...

OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ DATE RAPE OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ GANGBANG OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ BUKAKE OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ DATE RAPE OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ...

looks like fun. :\

D said...

Crap. For the first time ever I'm speechless.

Anonymous said...

what?
like this shit wasnt going on at crush last night?

defameorlando said...

I agree. Penis Ass is a very popular dance move at all the clubs.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...At crush its a bunch of booty dancing 18 year olds fresh out of highschool. Here its 21+ supposedly intelligent girls in college seeking degrees to work with me or be the boss of me in the real world. Strip clubs are classier than this. At least they try to implement a no touching rule in respect to the women. If anything happens beyond that it's behind the scenes. Here its just a blatant slutfest free for all. Your dignity is on the ground ladies. While your bent over letting him dry hump your pussy, maybe you should reach down and pick it up.

dlux said...

with all this dry humping i have but one question...

WHO'S FUCKIN TONIGHT?!

http://www.orangecountyconcepts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/valentinesday09b1.jpg

oontz oontz said...

oontz oontz whats to play!

Anonymous said...

" OOOOHHH, the Snatch Dick-touch, my favorite move."

Jessica Faren said...

josh, the only thing you'd need to sign up for would be here

http://www.orchd.com/STD/index.asp

i'd make the appointment next day, earlier the better

Anonymous said...

@ " OOOOHHH, the Snatch Dick-touch, my favorite move."

"Don't worry baby, I'll just put in the tip..."

P.B. said...

Classy, but what can you expect from no talent hacks? Sex sells, even if it's your only selling point. This would be fun if I was 13 and it was held in my middle school cafeteria.

enraged and disappointed said...

don't these "ladies" know that with pictures like this surfacing on the internet. their hopes of marrying someone rich and powerful completely evaporates? I have to assume that their only aspirations in life are to marry rich because god knows with antics like these they lack the self assurance and respect for themselves to actually do anything on their own.

Anonymous said...

i'd say the presence of photographers in a club when im drunk and of course defame, make me a little self conscious when out now.

but when i actually think about it, or see photos like these, is this really what i want other people to see me look like?

time to master the art of looking classy while still having a good time.

Docta Dawe said...

Snatch is offensive, and I <3 it. btw I am secretly in love with Jessica Faren... and the only thing really left to wonder about with this blog is:

WHO'S FUCKIN' TONIGHT?!!?!?

http://www.orangecountyconcepts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/valentinesday09b1.jpg

Jessica Faren said...

not so secret anymore

Jessica said...

in my previous comment i was not implying that josh needs to be tested but a person involved in that vagina fest may want to seek help afterward.

defameorlando said...

I wish Jessica would just go by her real name Kapow on here. It would keep me from wondering who she was next time.

Hope said...

I imagine the montage for this could have been triple the size.

Jeff(drunk.) said...

I fucking love the girls who you KNOW are going to come in here and post about how degrading this shit is, and, "don't these girls know...".


I mean really.


Of course they do. We all do; yet, we all still find it violently funny. For fuck's sake, we're commenting on pictures regarding a "dance" that consists of seeing how close you can come to snagging some girl's black-cherry through her fucking jeans. That shit's hysterical.

Yeago said...

Truly witty. Had a spice the previous one was missing.

defameorlando said...

I figured why bother with the last post. The comments were going to focus on the same old shit anyways...

Kaze said...

What the complete hell is this fuckery?

Anonymous said...

STD SATURDAYS AND KNIGHT CLUB! So fresh!!~!

Put A Dick In It said...

Knight Klub has got to be the worst name for a club ever. Enticing 17 year-olds is the name of the game, I suppose.

Add lots of men and you've got an Orange County Concepts party.

Sausage Saturdays.

Anonymous said...

I'm sick to my stomach.

dlux said...

sausage saturdays!! whos fuckin tonight!!!!

Anonymous said...

seems like a party for lowlifes.

DickFitswell said...

... At least it's not another "night" done by What's Hot


(I can't believe those guys still even exist)

Anonymous said...

those pictures were digusting...but the writing made it funny and was probably the only reason i made it to the end of the post.

Dan said...

I'm nowhere near Orlando or even Florida and this blog link just got passed to me. The pictures were appauling and the people who run these nights should be shot for making your city look like such trailer trash.

The Lover said...

We love our trailer trash city, Dan.

Anonymous said...

um...i could do without these these skanks and skankbros.

Yeago said...

@Dan - That's not trailer trash, that's the future.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Crush with straight bill hats and more people.

Adam said...

Ughh my roomate loves that place. Sometimes she really makes me sad.

Shawn said...

In the true spirit of this particular post, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. May you end the night with a boner in the bathroom area. It is Snatch Saturday after all.

Anonymous said...

i went, and now it burns when i pee.

Plants Need Electrolytes said...

I think they were filming the sequel for Idiocracy.

OrangeCountyConcepts ANGEL said...

hahaha wow. i loved the post but...you guys are dicks and need to find something better to do with your lives. seriously... quit dissing Brian and occ. they're one of the best night life companies right now.just because you cant pull off half of the nights they do doesn't mean you can sit there and hate on others.wow. mature.Maybe if you put in half the effort the people behind occ did then u could be good too. but your lowlifes and can't appreciate all the business they bring in.

You're Not An Angel said...

Lele, grow the fuck up and get off the site. If you knew anything about what goes on you'd realize Brian could really give a shit.

get da fuck outta here said...

OrangeCountyConcepts ANGEL---

if you measure success in playing unoriginal top 40 radio edits, std's, gross roast beef skanks, and visor wearing dudebros then yea i guess these guys are doing a great job!

Anonymous said...

funny thing is... its still WAY better than TDs and Scoop!

Anonymous said...

OCC Angel-fuck off. I'd like to see OCC pull off ONE successful night downtown, without the UCF/STD crowd involved. Never would happen. Die.

8oo8s said...

Leah the only thing you have to be grateful to Brian is for your fake ID working at every club you go to. You're what, 17?

DIAF said...

Leah =! OCC.



Fuck her, fuck her life.

Rona. said...

BACKBOOTH TONIGHT. 7PM.

dlux said...

defame went to snatch, ask her.

defameorlando said...

I totally did. I decided to do some on the scene investigating since I was three blocks away. Entering the bar and hearing Docta Dawe say "Fuck My Life" over the mic, was pretty amazing.

Yeago said...

"And how hard is too hard when being degraded with hair pulling by a guy I've never met before?"

b-b-but they met a whole six pictures prior.

Anonymous said...

when these guys get charged with statutory rape, will doctor dawe be charged as an accessory?

Anonymous said...

Your break sucks.

Anonymous said...

your break does fucking suck.

Grain Of Assault said...

HI WIENERS. WE HATE YOU TOO.

fuckingstop.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

ugh come back.

Anonymous said...

break over. no more break.

Anonymous said...

Dawes girlfriends looks like a stepford wife with a meth addiction.

Christian Blethen said...

Break out my graphic T, my jeans with paint splatter (purchased that way), and my Von Dutch hat(is that still in style?). I'm there!

Dick Wendy said...

Ugh! Now, I'm left to reminisce about another of OCC's failed parties in "Snatch."
Gross.
Write something new, Defame, please.

Michel said...

It could easily have been me on every photos. Not proud or ashame about it. It just happen. At that specific moment, I choosed consciously to do it and we were laughing a lot. You cannot do that and not laugh. Enjoy life, it's short! :) I am living, clubbing and dating in Moscow now. :)

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA SEXY!

Taxi Orlando said...

hozzzzzzz what a party in Orlando i really want to visit that place wonderful entertainment.