Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The world needs a narrative

Ahh, Konrad, he who continues to go out on the town donning actual elf ears or indian head dresses as if it's just another Abenaki tribe afternoon in the park...







Sigh. Konrad is a really nice guy, but it makes me also wonder about him and his brother's childhood. If maybe they grew up in an orphanage and used to hide under the bed telling one another:

"When we grow up, we will leave here and we will be elves. It won't matter if people understand us, they're all crazy anyways"

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

ill take a 5 dollar foot long any day.

IAteTooMuch said...

A friend took me to that abomination (Not the Fasionista Pemmican Indian, Konrad) and mentioned how good the bread was. It was a sandwich with three pieces of meat that looked like some bitch stepped on it. FAIL!

Gabriel's Subs FTW!

Anonymous said...

Jimmy johns is bad and over-rated but not quite as bad as konrad. I was sitting over here on my moms computer and she came up beside me and said "that kids feet give me the creeps"...

Mike Synan said...

Mama Mia's on Silver Star Road looks like an absolute dump, but I've never found a better sub in this city.. The pizza steak is to die for

welcome back!

Mike Synan

Gabby said...

5 dollar foot longs just ended, but yea i agree JJ sucks the D

al said...

you're still on point as always.

there was a place over on magnolia that was great over by a thai restaurant. you walked in and there was just one counter and two guys behind it with a couple of slicing machines and boars head products. i'm pretty sure its still open.

jimmy john's subs look like flaccid dicks compared to these things.

Kyle Raker said...

I order the Vito at Jimmy Johns, sans lettuce.

Anonymous said...

YOU'RE BACK!!!

Thank Jebuz.

I deleted my myspace and facebook because i thought twitter would be my main social networking gadget...

stupidist fucking idea ever... ive been bored out of my fucking mind with everyones thoughts about movies, old tv shows, and the food they like...

ps i missed you.

j said...

In The Realms Of The Unreal is a great movie. Know what another great movie is? Misery. Leave me stuck on a Snatch post again for 3 months and I'll find you, strap you to my computer chair and bang your feet up Kathy Bates style.

Anonymous said...

If Crazy Horse was gay and thought Rock and Roll was just a trip to Dechoes..here is your specimen

Leon Russell said...

this is what happens when you give a talentless electro kid a couple of dad's good records and a dead peacock

Vegas said...

I'm so glad you put the Jimmy Johns thing in there. I've been saying that shit sucked for years. All the UCF kids where I used to live in Orlando used to eat at the one on University. Jersey Mikes FTW. There's one hidden in the shadows of Orlando...It's hard to find, but it's there.

Anonymous said...

@vegas... nothing in waterford lakes is "hard" to find

furochewarrior said...

publix subs ftw

defameorlando said...

STOP SAYING "FTW"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

Sorry.

Anonymous said...

lol

Anonymous said...

WTF FTW FML

i like how twitter made this @person thing so commonplace

Anonymous said...

what is wrong with you people!!! stop watching TV and "5 dollar foot long"....Konrad, oh little sweet thing. New hair cut...yes when you are ready...still so so nicey nice to everyone...

Josh Spickler said...

re: the @ thing.
internet culture has invaded pop culture. it's crazy. people were using it for years before twitter even got popular.

also, i despise people who say "jebus" or any derivative of.

and this one's for the south floridians...
laspada's, kills all subs.

Rona. said...

JJ is disgusting. I'm SO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK.

#Rona said...

RT @ #FUCK

Rones. said...

PS-Anyone ever been to La Spada's?

Anonymous said...

@jebus!

Yeago said...

HEEEEEEELP the two biggest orlando topics between 22-30 yr olds are JJs and GELFLING. AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!22222

Anonymous said...

laspada's is the best sub in Florida hands down..
Thats the only thing good about South Florida!!!

Jon Bergquist said...

Ms. Defame,

You passed your chance on some premium cannon fodder with this post. You failed to mention that the Jimmy John’s on Orange Ave. sits atop the corpse of Rhythm and Flow. Where as recently as 2007 Superstar DJ Keoki held a residency of sorts.

sarah said...

@yeago-somehow i knew well enough not expect a lot "big topics" on here. where did you get lost? you're probably someone who has a hard time making small talk arent you? its not a conversation unless it takes place in a coffee shop and speaks of only five star movies, newest computer platforms and goverment downfalls. after a day at work sometimes its fun to just shoot the shit. try it sometime.

Anonymous said...

Why do you think that most of us on here read your blog anyway? Because you are making something in Orlando interesting. In a strange way, you are making Orlando seem more exciting. If you have to make fun of a few douche bags to do it, then I say go right ahead. Most of them deserve it. And in a town overflowing with douche baggery, you won't be short of material any time soon.

Jimmy John's isn't so bad.

DJ ICEE said...

@ John Bergquist: The 90's are over. Nobody cares about Keoki anymore.

Konrad said...

I wouldn't say you're all crazy by any means... that would be a sweeping generalization and a falacy. Some of you do "get it" on a deeper level. For the others on the outside looking in, frankly I feel sorry for you. We can still be friends though.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sarah.

Yeago said...

pff ... your wisdom, my habitual life error.

you're definitely wrong in specific but you get the general gist. I hate talking about computers or fringe politics, especially in coffeeshops.

Just put me in a fucking freezer while all that's happening and wake me up for work, I guess.

Jon Bergquist said...

Icee Imposter,

You missed my point entirely. I was pointing out the overlooked fact that particular Jimmy John’s used be a nightclub. The fact that Keoki held a residency there in 2007 makes it even more humorous.

Also please reframe from @ing @ me.

Anonymous said...

I heard about what happened to Conrad recently, its pretty messed up.
He really is a good guy.

:-(

boredassbitch said...

Oh defame, I have been so looooonely for you.
I personally believe a sandwich does not have to be long to be satisfying. I prefer the POM POM turkey dinner sandwich.
when Jameson serves it to me with his button nose. and when i say button, I mean clitoris.

Social Bore said...

That is one ugly mullet, Konrad.

supajeff said...

Gabriel's Subs FTW!
had to

as far as cold subs the got it right.

hot subs was deli palnet but michelle lost her damn mind.
f subway.
jimmy john's.?>?>
fail

B-recca said...

HAHAHAHA. Poor Konrad. Any kid who's nearly 7 foot tall and sports a mullet turns heads.